BITTER ka ba?

Hindi ako bitter. Hindi ka bitter. Walang taong bitter.
1st Sypmtom ng Pagka-bitter: In Denial!


Kaipokritahan ang claiming na hindi naging bitter kailanman. 
Paano ba masasabing nagmamapait ang isang tao? If you have someone you consider as 'The one who got away...' or if there are times na hypophreniac ka- confeermeed! Bitter ka!

Here are some signs to help you conclude kung love mo ang Ampalaya Bitter Herbs...

1. Laging hindi mo bet ang nagiging jowa ng friend mo dahil ang totoo, may HD ka kay friend!

2. You claim na hindi mo na iniisip si EX pero after the breakup, gumulo ang mundo mo dahil siya lang ang huling taong kumumpleto sa'yo. 

3. Nami-miss mo siya. Lagi siyang nasa isip mo. May mga kanta at lugar na nagpapaalala nung kayo pa. Eh 10 years na kayong wala.

4.  Ang tagal mo nang single. Sabi mo you just love yourself more and you don't want to settle for less pero ang totoo, mahal mo pa kasi.

5. Lagi kang taken. Iba-iba ang partner pero hndi tumatagal. Hindi ka nababakante. .Yung totoo? Ilang panakip butas ang kailangan mo? 

6. May nararamdaman kang hindi maipalawanag sa tuwing makikita mo mga posts niya sa news feed mo. 

7. Hindi ka masaya 'pag masaya siya pero masaya ka 'pag emo siya. Demonyo ka ba?

8. Kabisado mo pa rin theme song niyo at nagbabalik ang lahat nung kayo pa sa tuwing kinakanta mo 'to.

9.  Inabot ng taon ang pagmumukmok mo habang hindi naman inabot ng 40 days ang relasyon niyo.

10. Post ka ng post sa FB ng mga dates mo. Umaasang sana makita ni EX para isipin niyang you've totally moved on. Kahit sa sarili mo, alam mong hindi pa. #Kawawa

Kung may maidadagdag ka pa, please feel free add na lang. 

I need to move on! 

Iskwater Lang


'Pag tahimik, galit na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng wala lang masabi?

'Pag tumitig, in love na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng tulala at may iniisip lang?

'Pag nag-extra rice, matakaw na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng rice person lang?

'Pag nangutang, gipit na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng sinusubok lang ang friendship?

'Pag inaantok, puyat na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng bored lang?

'Pag mali ang sagot, bobo na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng slow lang?

'Pag sumigaw, galit na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng nagvo-vocalize lang?

'Pag naluha, malungkot na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng napuwing lang?

'Pag nanghingi ng food, patay gutom na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng naglalambing lang?

'Pag nanlibre, mayaman na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng paandar lang?

'Pag na-miss si Ex, mahal na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng bitter lang?

'Pag pumayat, may sakit na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng naghihirap lang?

'Pag nag-starbucks, sosyal na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng gusto lang ng planner?

'Pag umabsent sa trabaho, magre-resign na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng nag-apply lang?

'Pag hindi binati, snob na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng hindi ka lang talaga pansinin?

'Pag nag-casino, sugarol na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng tumambay lang?

'Pag nilalandi, crush na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng wala lang option?

'Pag blogger, writer na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng nakikiuso lang?

'Pag nagmura, masamang tao na agad?
Hindi ba pwedeng galit na Iskwater lang?

Taenang 'yan!

WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?


How many have you tried among the following items?

1. Shoplifting in any department stores, groceries, supermarkets or alike within the last five years
2. Engaging in an outdoor sexual encounter with a total stranger
3. Answering a random but critical call of nature in the middle of nowhere without any sanitary back ups
4. Attending special occasions or important activities not wearing any undies
5. Sticking your booger underneath a table or workstation
6. Repeatedly wearing same underwear for at least three consecutive days
7. Sniffing your own upper, lower, midwest or midsouth body odor
8. Fulfilling sexual fantasies alone in public places like office building's fire exit, friend's house or food chain's washroom
9. Swallowing your own puke
10. Intentionally not paying fare when taking FX or any PUV's
11. Checking your own underboobs to see wether it's wet or dry (or powdery)
12. Giving sexually provocative look to a prospect prior to official introduction
13. Singing aloud in a group of people with wrong lyrics
14. Washing dishes using recycled H2O
15. Sleeping on a stinky bed
16. Refilling containers of branded products with less expensive or local version of the item
17. Taking home free toiletries from a hotel
18. Having forced diet due to financial shortage
19. Growing your hair and claiming that you want to set a trend where in fact you just can't afford a decent haircut
20. Not seeing any flick on a movie house for the last six months
21. Doing window shopping more than twice a week
22. Staying for hours in a well-known coffee shop without ordering but has been freely accessing wi-fi or just playing gadget games
23. Smoking Mark, Champion, Fortune or any less than 1 peso per stick brands of cigarettes
24. Using a so-called "jumper" or a "splitter" to save electric and cable bills respectively
25. Purposely not returning excessive change from a purchased product
26. Making friends to acquire status symbol or financial benefits
27. Not experiencing AirConditioning and electric fan is the only source of ventilation in the household
28. Graduating from a high school which was named after the place where you live, known Philippine Heroes or former Presidents (examples: Tabing Dagat National High School, Mataas na Paaralan ng Sapang Bato, Jose Pidal Science High School and FPJ Experimental High School)
29. Pigging out on a party of a not-so-closed friend with a secretly kept and packed foods to bring home
30. Writing down personal contact numbers on places like mall comfort rooms and on the backseats of public buses to search for possible phonepals, textmates, dates and hook ups.


WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER?  No judgment.